This past week, I received an email from a member of our church asking about a Christian’s disposition toward past sins. This dear saint expressed concern about the struggle to feel forgiven through a handful of thoughtful questions. How long should we feel bad about our sin after we’ve repented? If we don’t feel bad, is that a sign that we aren’t forgiven? How can I feel rightly about past sins without turning that feeling into the basis for my forgiveness? What if I don’t feel forgiven?
I’ve copied my response below in the hopes that anyone else struggling with these same questions might be helped.
I will be praying for you – thanks for letting me know how I can direct those prayers. The bitterness and pain of our past sins can feel insurmountable. I know how hard that can be, and I grieve with you for it. Sin always leaves a trail of wreckage, and often in our own feelings about those sins.
It sounds like you are rightly perceiving the tension inherent in forgiveness: “I’m forgiven in Christ, but the sin still happened and I remember it.” So, what do you do with those conflicting feelings? I’m glad to hear that you’re already countering legalistic impulses, like the temptation to turn sorrow for sin into a kind of ticket to salvation, which it was never meant to be. Maybe I can offer you some language to frame how you think about forgiveness that can bring comfort to your heart as you walk in the freedom of Christ.
Forgiveness is God’s gracious promise to completely remove the guilt of our sin when we ask for it. God is eager to forgive undeserving sinners, and his forgiveness is total – as far as the East is from the West (Ps 103:10-12). And the New Testament teaches us that when we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins (1 John 1:9) because of the death of Christ to pay for those sins (2 Cor 5:21). So, if you have believed in Jesus and repented of your sin, asking God to forgive it, then the Bible tells us that there is no more condemnation (Rom 8:1). For the forgiven, the guilt of sin is really, truly gone. Forever.
To be forgiven, then, means that God, the one whom your sin chiefly offends, is no longer offended. He extinguished the guilt – the wrath your sin deserved – on Christ on the cross (Rom 3:25-26). In Jesus’ earth-shaking words, “It is finished” (John 19:30). The right judgment has been rendered for your sin, and God will not exact that punishment again. The guilt of your sin is paid in full at the cross.
Therefore, for any Christian to feel as if they are still guilty before God is, in the most glorious way, incorrect. We sometimes use the language of feeling “guilty” for sin that has been forgiven. But in truth, we should not feel as though God is still angry with us if he is not angry with us! We should not feel like there is a barrier between us and God if he has removed it. If the stone of guilt is rolled away, then all you should see when you look to God is the open arms of your risen Savior. Forgiven, you can cry, “Abba Father!” (Gal 4:6). In that sense, Christians should never feel guilty about past sins for which they have repented. To feel guilty when there is no more guilt is to forget the victory of the cross. And when we do feel guilty for forgiven sin, we should preach to our forgetful souls, “It is finished!”
In the course of the Christian life, however, you and I do still feel conviction for sin. The ESV uses the word “conviction” this way a few times (1 Cor 14:24, James 2:9, Jude 15). Paul calls it “godly grief” in 2 Corinthians 7:9-11. Paul even rejoices in this grief felt by the Corinthians, because, he says, “you were grieved into repenting.” He goes on to say that godly grief produces repentance leading to salvation without regret. So, this godly grief, even if it doesn’t feel good in the moment, is really a precious, wonderful gift from the Lord, produced by the Holy Spirit to drive us to repentance (John 16:8, Rom 8:13) which restores us to joyful communion with God.
So, even though we have been forgiven for sin, we may still rightly have a sense of sorrow about it. Darlene and I remind our kids regularly of the truth that “sin hurts.” Sin opposes God’s design for his good creation, it poisons our relationships with each other, and it obscures the joy of our obedience to Christ. It’s right to feel sad about sin, both our own and not our own. Sin’s effects may linger even when sin’s guilt is gone. For instance, think of any time you’ve had to apologize and then begin the process of rebuilding trust. Sin is damaging, so we should feel godly grief over it. That grief should lead us to repent of our own sins and then rest in the forgiveness we have in Christ.
There is, then, a massive gulf between a godly sense of sorrow over our sin (conviction) and a forgetful sense of lingering judgment yet to be rendered for our sin (guiltiness). Conviction is the right way to feel about our sin, and it should drive us to repentance, which should then be met with the sweet promise of reconciliation with God in Christ (2 Cor 5:19-20). But when we feel guilty for sin that we’ve already repented of, it’s like we are saying to God, “No God, we aren’t reconciled yet. Something still needs to happen to bring me to you. You’re still secretly angry, I know it!” And often the way we try to overcome that illusion is with, not surprisingly, our works.
Jesus’ response to those who try to work their way to peace with God is the parable of the two lost sons (Luke 15:11-32), and the picture he paints of God’s response to repentant sinners is so beautiful I just have to put it here in full:
“And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.”
So, if you find yourself feeling guilty for sin that you’ve already repented of, then fill your mind with the glorious image of the Father’s open embrace of his rebel son. Remind yourself of Jesus’ finished work on the cross. Sing to yourself, “It is done, it is finished, no more debt I owe, paid in full, all-sufficient merit now my own.”
If you find yourself convicted about your sin, then run to Christ and throw that sin at the foot of the cross. Don’t ignore the Spirit’s working through your convicting conscience, but heed the impulse that drives you to repent so that you can once again enjoy communion with your heavenly Father. As Martin Luther said, the whole of the Christian life is repentance.
And if you find yourself repeatedly hounded by the Accuser of the brethren, or by your own thoughts condemning you for past sins, then ask God to paint on the canvas of your mind the glory of your first day in heaven. Imagine with grateful awe the wonder of that first sight of your Savior, completely and finally freed from sin to worship and enjoy him forever. That day, _____, is yours in Christ. The gates of Paradise have been opened to you, despite all your sin, because your Savior loves you with an infinite depth and an unending length. A mind filled with heaven can’t quarter despair for long.
In short, our sorrow for sin leads us to repentance, and our repentance leads us to peace in Christ. Guilt is swallowed up at the cross, and joy arises from the empty tomb. Our past sins can haunt us but they cannot overwhelm us in Christ. I’ll be praying for you as you continue to remember the goodness of God’s forgiveness and seek to set your mind on things above. Let me know if there’s any other way I can pray for you or serve you!