Working on Your Relationship with God

Even though New Year’s was a whole five days ago, I’m betting there are at least some of you out there who haven’t totally given up on thinking about resolutions. While our New Year’s resolutions will take various forms and address various areas of life, differing from person to person, one thing that Christians’ New Year’s resolutions should have in common is that at least some of them involve focusing on ways to deepen our relationship with Christ.

However, a couple of conversations I’ve been having and blog posts I’ve been reading have led me to believe that there is more than a little confusion on exactly how we ought to go about pursuing a deeper relationship with Christ.

One such post leading me to that conclusion was this 2009 article, which is still managing to get comments 2½ years later. (Try to resist the urge to add to them.) The author, a Christian psychology professor, recounts an interaction with a student who wanted to “work on her relationship with God.” He goes on to lament that, according to him, working on one’s relationship with God all too often means “praying more, getting up early to study the Bible, [and] to start going back to church,” and too seldom has anything “to do with trying to become a more decent human being.”

This perspective is not limited to the obscure corners of the blogosphere. As I mentioned, there are plenty of conversations that I’ve observed and participated in recently in which professing Christians emphasize good works and pious deeds as central to what it means to be a Christian, while relegating doctrine and personal devotion to the periphery. In a sense, this is the sounding forth of the late 19^th- and early 20^th-century modernist anthem: “Deeds not Creeds.” The 21^st-century postmodernist rehashing of the liberalism of yesteryear has yielded a reverence for uncertainty, suspicion about truth, and aversion to doctrine. And, as the spirit of the age has infiltrated the church, at the very least we wind up with a mindset that champions “Deeds over Creeds.” “You want to deepen your relationship with God? Don’t waste your time with Bible study, prayer, and going to church. Volunteer at the soup kitchen, donate clothing, and, for goodness’ sake, be a good tipper!”

Root and Fruit

Of course, there’s a germ of truth there. Christians shouldn’t be jerks while patting themselves on the back for being “faithful” because they go through the motions of Bible reading and church attendance. It’s right to expect someone who professes faith in Jesus to bear good fruit. And it’s even true that we will know God more intimately and deepen our relationship with Him as we obey and walk in the manner He walked (John 14:21; cf. 1Jn 2:6).

But what’s troubling about this ideology is the confusion of the root and the fruit of true Christian faith and spirituality. The fruit—the actions—are not the basis of one’s Christianity, as if all you needed to be a “true Christian” is to just be a nice guy and a decent tipper. The fruit—the progressive conformity into Christlikeness—comes from the root of a continual beholding of His glory (2Cor 3:18), and that glory is perfectly revealed in His Word (Jn 17:17).

The spirit of the age rejects Bible study, prayer, and the fellowship of the saints (i.e., membership and the partaking of the ordinances in a local church governed by a plurality of elders) as too self-focused and merely taking up valuable time that can be used serving others. But these are precisely the means God has ordained for us to deepen our relationship with Christ, our knowledge of Him, and our satisfaction in His glory. And then, the result of that deeper, more intimate knowledge is a compassionate, Christlike servant who loves God and loves his neighbor as himself.

Gospel and Anti-Gospel

See, if focusing on the fruit is the primary way to “work on your relationship with God,” you don’t need Jesus to be a Christian. The notion that you can improve your relationship with God by trying to become a more decent human being is simply works-righteousness in a pious disguise. You improve your relationship with God by trying harder and being better. At that point, your religion becomes nothing more than moralism and self-righteousness, which doesn’t honor Christ. This is not biblical morality. It is anti-Gospel.

The Gospel is: you have totally failed at being a decent human being, and will continue to totally fail. For this, you need to cast yourself on the mercy of Christ for forgiveness. And forgiveness not first from other people you’ve offended, but forgiveness from God, whom you’ve supremely offended (Ps 51:4). You can’t become a more decent human being by aiming at becoming a more decent human being. You can only become a more decent human being by aiming at Christ. And you can’t aim at Christ without seeing Him. And you can’t see Him without His Word.

The only kind of loving actions that glorify God—indeed, the only actions that are truly loving—are those done precisely because Christians know themselves forgiven by Jesus and want to demonstrate the glory of God in Christ to the world. When the root of your good deeds is a worship-relationship with Christ Himself through the means He’s ordained (His Word, prayer, and fellowship) then you’re glorifying God, and not yourself.