December 19, 2011

Why Lie to Your Kids about Santa?

by Clint Archer

I’m no Scrooge. I lodge no objections to celebrating Christmas or singing inane jingles, like Jingle Bells. My family understands that, pagan roots aside, the plastic conifer in our living room is not a subtle mark of our allegiance to the forces of darkness. It’s a tree (model).

We do, however, prefer singing “Hark the Herald Angel Sings” over the misdirected praise of “Oh Christmas Tree,” though I’m not even fanatic about enforcing that.

We tolerate the poetic inaccuracy of “We three kings of Orient are” because it rolls off the tongue better than “We indeterminable number of Gentile scholars of Persia are.”

But… I am nervous about the potential confusion which may cloud a 4 year old’s faith in my honesty.

Angels on high, a pregnant virgin, God in a manger, a guiding star… are impossibilities. Yet, “all things are possible with God.” [Yes, you need to believe in the virgin birth to be a Christian] We ask our children to trust us on these claims with their lives. Then we add a fictitious, omniscient fat guy with a red-nosed reindeer to the mix. At a certain age we matter-of-factly disclose that we were just kidding about the chimney intrusion, the Elven workshop, and the works-based naughty-or-nice judgment. “Those parts are make-believe, the rest is gospel truth. Trust me, son.”

Misinformation has a way of taking root in our memories. Do you picture the stable with oxen lowing on a silent night? Were the angels actually singing? Was there a villainous inn keeper? These details are not found in Scripture.

Three kings? Nope. How many seminary students have been disabused of their favorite nativity character, the little drummer boy, in NT survey?

The mythology of Father Christmas, as we call him in Africa, runs parallel to biblical truth, until it dead-ends in one of the (hopefully) pre-teen years. But has the damage to parental credibility already been done? A parody of one consequence is epitomized by that poor, traumatized kid who laments, “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” I doubt therapy was needed for the child to overcome his confusion. But there does exist a subtle long-term danger, namely that of placing impossible fiction on the same shelf as impossible fact and forcing our children to discern arbitrarily which is which, based on our flip-flopping propositions.

Is it any wonder that adults who, at one time believed their Sunday school teachers, eventually conclude, “The Bible sounds like a fairy tale”? These skeptics were expected to outgrow some of what they were taught by their parents. Why not more of it? Why not all that sounds impossible?

I never want my children to have this existential monologue in junior high: “Daddy told me about a six day creation, virgin birth, Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, angels, and fairies. Then he said he was only joking about half the stuff. I felt gullible for falling for it. Mmm. I wonder if my science teacher is right about Evolution? What other nonsense has been fed to me as fact?”

So what do I tell my children when they see other kids queueing to meet one of the ubiquitous middle-aged, overweight men with fake beards offering a lap and a promise of gifts? I tell them the truth: “Look, it’s a pretend Santa.” This will be in the context of the conversation we had, where I explained that part of Christmas fun is pretending there is a man who lives in the North Pole who gives presents. I’ll also tell them about the real Nicholas who ministered in Turkey. Pretend can still be fun. I love fiction and imagination. I offer them Narnia too. But there is a thin line between fiction and fallacy.

I want my children to grow up knowing that their dad never, ever lies to them. About anything. This may lead to some awkward moments in life, like a premature discussion about where babies come from. But surely adding a stork to the catalogue of misinformation can’t be a better tactic than opting for truth in every situation.

The precious attributes of God’s omniscience, omnipresence, and omnipotence, are grotesquely caricatured by Santa-lore. Contemplate the lyrics which describe what our children think of this demagogue, ”He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he knows when you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.”

I’m interested to hear your views. In the meantime, I have a nativity set to go re-arrange (the indeterminable scholars from Persia will only arrive in 2 years time, and they’ll show up at the “house” not the stable). Another bubble burst in the battle for truth; a small price to pay for not abusing the unwavering trust my children have in their dad.

What do you think, am I going too far?

in Shepherding with 202 Comments

About Clint Archer: Clint is the pastor of Hillcrest Baptist Church. He and his expanding troop of Archers live near Durban, South Africa (and pity anyone who doesn't). When he is off duty from CGate, his alter ego blogs at Café Seminoid, clintarcher.com

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Josh Mills

Great article! You hinted at “the list”, but I wanted to ask if you feel it is fair to say Santa also distorts the idea of true “gospel obedience”. No one obeys Santa because they love him… right?

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Great insight. Works-based pleasing of the ‘omniscient’ Santa rubs my Pauline monergism the wrong way too. I’m not against fun though so as long s the kids realize it’s pretend, it can actually function as a great illustration later in life with which to contrast God’s lavish grace through Christ.

traciecupples

Great post!

I have pondered these points in my own mind, as I’m still unsure what to tell my 2 year old son. So far I haven’t told him about Santa and the capitalist secular machine hasn’t got through to him about it.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Well you know my take on it: honesty’s the best policy. Either that or lock your boy in a TV-less dungeon forever!

http://www.ourpassionandpurpose.org Ben Weaver

Thoughtful article. I have 3 children ranging in age from 3 – 9 years. We have always had Santa but they have always understood that it is pretend. They know any presents they get are from us because of our love for them and not bc of how they act throughout the year. They know about the man Santa is based on, too. My wife and I thought this was the best way bc we did not want to lie to our children, either.

Oh, love Josh Mills comment about Santa.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

It sounds like you and I are on the same page. I like how you bring it back to the motivation of love. This mirrors God’s Fatherhood. Thanks for sharing.

Brent

Great article. One thing I’d like to add is how can we, as Christian parents, preach that lying is a sin and then intentionally lie to our kids? And then say we did it out of FUN? Does God not take that sin seriously?

And not only can they lose the ability to discern between fact and fiction, but we can lose our entire platform with our children. “Do as I say, not as I do.” And then we wonder why kids don’t listen to us when they hit the teenage years.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

I agree Brent. A lot of joking relies on deception with a purpose to reveal the truth at a humorous time. I don’t put Santa lore in that category, personally. And even if it were to be considered a “joke”, it’s a serious issue to be joking about, when one considers how closely it parallels revelation about God.

Jennifer

It took us a couple of years to decide what we would say about Santa. I took the approach that I wasn’t lying, I wouldn’t directly promote it and if they asked about it I would say, “What do you think?” No lying there right? Another couple of years went by and the oldest had already started figuring it out, when a neighbor friend who knew all about the truth told my son, “Your parents are just lying to you!” Ouch! It sounds so much worse coming from a kid – but it is true! Much better to be honest from the beginning than have one of your kids friends expose your untruthfulness!

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Wow. That would be an eye-opener. Thanks Jennifer.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1556241667 Christa Case Chesnutt

I was born in the 70′s and my parents didn’t have us participate in Santa. I didn’t realize how avant-garde they were until I grew up and didn’t practice Santa with my own children. It wasn’t even a decision I had to make because Santa wasn’t even part of my makeup. However, I can’t believe the people who have been thoroughly offended because we don’t do the Santa thing. People have gotten angry when they ask my kids what Santa is bringing them and my kids tell them they don’t believe in Santa. They would look at me and start fussing. I always thought that was odd. I mean, these are my kids and these people were the ones lying to them. Shouldn’t I be the offended one? And it wasn’t as if I was being bold about it. Being bold is something I am still working on!

“I want my children to grow up knowing that their dad never, ever lies to them. About anything. This may lead to some awkward moments in life, like a premature discussion about where babies come from. But surely adding a stork to the catalogue of misinformation can’t be a better tactic than opting for truth in every situation.”—AMEN!!!! There are enough people and things lying to our kids today. I applaud that you are not wanting to be one of them. If it helps, I always told my kids (when it came to the baby conversation) that I was more than willing to tell them, but as soon as they would know, that it would chip away a big piece of their childhood. Both of my girls responded with an emphatic NO until they hit the early teen years. And now I get to answer all kinds of questions!

Thank you for all your posts and sharing your faith! Merry CHRISTmas! And forgive any mistakes I have made. I cannot seem to find my glasses.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Well said Christa. Thanks for sharing.
Krissi

I’ve had the same thing when people asked my kids about what Santa is going to bring them or if they were ready for Santa to come. We decided to not do the whole Santa thing from the start. I was brought up knowing about Santa, but also knew the real meaning of Christmas and that it was more important then the Santa part. I don’t really feel that it had much of an adverse affect on me psychologically, however, I didn’t really like the idea of lying to my children when I tell them not to lie and also I want them to know the real meaning of Christmas. But the grief I have put up with from people is unbelieveable. We had one older man actually get mad at us and told us that it wasn’t right for us to NOT teach them about Santa! and he was a Christian! At one point we were totally against anything that had to do with Santa, wrapping paper, pictures, movies, hats, everything, that just didn’t seem to work, so now we allow those things, but just explain that the whole thing is just pretend, like the superheros and fairytales. This way they don’t feel like they are missing out on something, but you aren’t having to lie to them.

Yanek

I think that there’s also scriptural support for cautiously approaching Santa. I’m reminded of the verse in Ephesians that says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” And the passage in Matthew that says, “Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?” illustrates how our heavenly father parents. Although that passage is aimed a little differently it’s obvious that God is not disingenuous. One of the things I’ve most appreciated about my parents’ parenting has been the moments when they’re genuine and real with me. Purporting Santa would be quite the opposite.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Excellent insight. I hadn’t thought of Ephesians 6, but I agree that it applies. Thanks.

S Hollis

Thank you for so eloquently, and sometimes humorously, articulating this! I wholeheartedly agree! I am so thankful for godly parents who taught us to discern between truth and fiction, no matter how “fun” or “magical.”

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Glad to hear you don’t feel deprived of a childhood experience. My hope is that my children will value our honesty with them more than they value the potential of missed fun.

Carol

Good article. My parents never let us believe in Santa Claus as a real person, for exactly the same reason and we did the same with our children. We have no regrets. It is a great opportunity to teach the true meaning of the holiday and focus on our Lord’s coming to earth as the Man who would one day pay for our sins and make possible a life in heaven with Him forever.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Amen and well said. Thanks Carol.

EricDavis

Totally agree, Clint. Santa is a fun pretend idea…sort of. The difference between him and Mickey, however, is significant. No one ascribes a level of omnipresence, omniscience, and tangible works-based rewards to Mickey.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Exactly.

Websmythe

For sake of the season, I find Romans 14:13-22 to be my guiding star.

Truthstands

Websmythe, if you’re referring to allowing for the fictional Santa, no problem. But if you’re referring to lying about the reality of Santa, I don’t think “lying” is a grey area that matches Paul’s criteria.

Websmythe

Wasn’t talking about lying. Just that it’s all to easy to be a bull in a china shop for the sake of “truth” when its other peoples sensibliites that are involved. Most of the time, there’s usually more than one way to approach a problem.

Suzy

Thank you for this post! This is exactly what my husband and I have been trying to explain when asked why we don’t do Santa. Your article will be very helpful! My oldest is 9 and never once has she mentioned that she is bummed that she doesn’t believe in santa. We make Christmas fun, we do gifts, stockings and a Christmas tree. However it’s never been under the pretense that some unknown man has snuck into our house at night and creeped around leaving stuff and eating our food. Normally a intruder into our home would be met with a very unfriendly greeting . I feel that my husband works hard all year long to support us and care for us. It seems ungrateful to give all the glory to a pretend provider. We’ve created traditions for our family that revolve around Christ, church and family. I really do not feel like we are missing out on anything by not doing Santa.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

In South Africa (burglary capital of the solar system), we have the added complication of motion detector alarms. When the kids ask “How did Santa eat the cookie without setting off the alarm?” it forces the parents to add deception to deception to keep the illusion alive. “Oh what a tangle web we weave, when we practice to deceive.”

Websmythe

Somebody asked me what that had to do with Santa. …I find the whole topic contentious. And we are instructed to not be contentious. This is a season of Celebration, not a season of what is Right. Life is more than than what we see with our eyes. For some, Santa may be the only magic that some folks have. No matter how commercial we may think its all become, there are others that still believe in giving and celebrating and being with family. Especially in this season, I think we could be circumspect and forego judgement to extend at least a little “Peace on Earth, Goodwill toward men”.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

To avoid any further risk of being contentious, I’ll refrain from contenting with your contention. Merry Christmas!

Websmythe

Sorry bout that. Don’t ask me why I went sideways. Prob too much stress. Merry Christmas back at ya.

http://www.theologicalthoughts.com/ Michael

“For some, Santa may be the only magic that some folks have.”

Why stop at Santa? “for some Odin and Thor are all they have. So let them believe the lie, it’s better than nothing.”

Websmythe

When I think of a world without Christmas, without Christ, without anything, I do think that.

Steve Meister

Not too far at all, Clint – preach it! For “not abusing the unwavering trust my children have in their dad,” is the key issue here. I have variously tried to commend that myself, though people usually write it off as being a curmudgeon. Nevertheless, we are teaching our 2 yr old that Santa “a myth that is not in the Bible” (trying to establish Scripture as the Truth).

I have had parents raise the issue of training an “enlightened” child who makes all the deluded Santa-devotees on the playground cry. But that really is a separate training issue, isn’t it? Specifically, how we can speak in love and grace with people who (wrongly) believe myths – a pretty necessary skill in a Rom 1:21-22 world. Besides, and even more to the point, teaching your kids falsehood just so they blend in with the world is hardly a wise parental tactic.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Ba humbug, curmudgeon! Perhaps your kid will learn that truth is unpopular, but it’s still truth. A good lesson to learn early in life for any Christian.

Abraham Armenta

Woops…now I’m totally convicted – most of all by your comment – “I want my children to grow up knowing that their dad never, ever lies to them”.

My children do not believe in Santa Clause. However, the tooth fairy has been making many trips to our house these last two years – I have a 5 and 7 year old. And BTW…she’s probably going broke because of all the money she’s bringing in.

What do you do about the tooth fairy…? I figure it would fall under the same category as Santa Clause.

…time to ‘fess up to my kids. I wish to join you in “I want my children to grow up knowing that their dad never, ever lies to them”… Thanks brother…for this encouraging and convicting article.

Abraham

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Ha, that’s hilarious. Sorry to be the one to hand you the pin which will burst their bubble. Perhaps soften the blow by giving them cash as a reward for enduring the loss of a tooth, like an insurance company does when you lose a limb.

Julie

absolutely agree!!!!!!!!! Interestingly enough, we caught a lot of harrassment for not promoting Santa….we wanted our kids to really relish in the celebration of JESUS. Will always, always take a stand for Truth. Thank you for putting this in such an eloquent way.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

“All who desire to live godly will be persecuted.” I read that somewhere

zulubuff

I had a similar thought several years ago. Basically, is the fantasy worth it.
http://zulubuff.blogspot.com/2007/12/santa-claus-ho-ho-humbug.html

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Well put. And one needs to ask, is anything worth risking that your kids think you are lying to them about Jesus?

Anonymous

Clint -

I think Christians should let the tradition and term “Christmas” go (at least in the States). I think we can send a clearer message to our children and our churches by allowing two entirely separate traditions. One is the world’s tradition of Christmas (Santa, Trees, Lights, etc) , the other is “Incarnation Day.” We might as well do the same in the late Spring, let the world have the “Easter” term and tradition, and we celebrate “Resurrection Day.”

July might be a better month to teach our children and churches the biblical truth of the Incarnation so we avoid all the tug of war with the term. I think we should stop with this “true meaning of Christmas” talk and just fork the term and all its traditions over to the world as a separate baby altogether. It’s not a biblical term anyhow (I think it has Catholic origins as Christ’s Mass right?).

I remember some years ago when James Dobson exhorted his listeners to write corporations (like Pottery Barn, LL Bean, etc) to use the term “Christmas” instead of “Holiday” in their catalogues, as if there was something redemptive about that. Seems like a waste of time to me, plus going up against the multi-billion dollar marketing machine that has hijacked the term would be really tough. I say we just let it go, and not call Incarnation Day Christmas any longer. It’s too confusing, and it’s not a biblical term anyhow.

Am I really gonna convince my 5 year old I put up lights on the house because Jesus is the light of the world? C’mon! No, I put up lights cuz it’s fun and it’s Christmas and our whole neighborhood gets into it and it’s a fun way to connect with them. Maybe by connecting with them over Chevy Chase jokes in December I can have a chance to share the truth of the Incarnation with them during our July 4th neighborhood BBQ.

JD

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Incarnation Day. Like it.
I never try to change all of society by writing corporations. Some do, and that’s fine. I try to tackle the world with a “as for me and my house” mentality. Any excuse to talk about Jesus is a welcome one in my book.

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Clothdiapermommy

Wow, you put what my husband and I stand for into great words! We also prefer. It to lie to our kids about Santa or the tooth fairy and we want her to never question who Christmas is about and the miracle of God in human form. That’s how my parents raised me and I loved it! M

Clothdiapermommy

*not to lie
http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

What?! The tooth fairy is a lie?

Mike

Clint I am in 100% agreement that honesty is always the best policy. I had this argument with my dad as an unsaved teenager back in the late 1980s. Even then, I knew that lying to your kids was not a good policy and the Coca-Cola clad Santa myth is not telling them the truth. I told him at that time over 25 years ago that I would tell them about Santa as a make believe person. At the time, I did not know of the actual historic Saint Nicholas. My kids are now 5 & 6 and I have held to my convictions and explained the fairy tale Santa and the historical Saint Nicholas. I definitely do not regret my decision and quite frankly my children are no worse for the wear and they have more respect for me that I told them the truth instead of a convenient lie.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Precisely. Thanks for confirming.

http://www.facebook.com/ericnear Eric Near

This is the way I was raised and am trying to raise my children. My oldest, almost 4, is aware of the Santa Claus character, and though I can’t be sure, I suspect she sees him as a character, like one in her books or a movie, and not a real thing. “Santa” is a guy in a red suit, not a real being who delivers presents to good kids. She hasn’t asked whether he’s real, however, but I’m prepared for when that time comes.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

That approach seems reasonable and informed. Thanks for sharing.

Kim

What an excellant article! My husband and I have 4 children (ages 4 and almost 2) and we have always told them the truth about Santa. However our good friends across the street have children around the same ages who believe in Santa. The little boy was talking about him when I watched him earlier. One of my boys chimed in that Santa wasn’t real, but the other little boy didn’t really pay attention. I stayed out of conversation, for the most part. How do you handle it with the children of friends and family who believe in Santa?

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Great question. We try to respect the traditions of others, even if we dont hold to them ourselves. We draw the line at “playing along” if that involves lying (even to other kids). We usually say, “You should ask you mom and dad about that.” As for what our kids say… “out of the mouths of babes…” I will never tell my child to lie in order to play along with another parent’s lie. I hope that doesn’t effect his popularity, but I’m more about his integrity than anything else.

Jmjohnson65

It’s so interesting because (we have 3 boys under the age of 9) and we have told them all along that Santa is pretend and a fun story. But what keeps happening is they seem to be so easily swayed the other way so we’ll talk about Santa being just a story and the next day they’ll ask again if he’s real. I know it takes many conversations.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Ha. I hadn’t thought of that contingent.

kate in seattle

we always took the ‘santa is a fun pretend” line with our four kids (now ages 14 – 23) However, we are a family with a high degree of “willing suspension of disbelief” and they “believed” in Santa for years. Kids can KNOW that Santa isn’t real and still, in some way, believe. Make allowances for that. Even when we DIDN’T leave money for teeth, they still ‘believed’ in the tooth fairy. go figure.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

I am a fan of fiction and fantasy, as long as its not toted as truth. That’s what confuses kids. And adults (think of Darwinism!)

Sherri

Thought provoking article! Thanks for putting it so well.

I am not anti-Santa – I see him as a mostly harmless legend and a cultural tradition, however we chose to never pretend he was real. My main reason being similar to points you raised – once my son realized that Santa wasn’t real, I didn’t want him to think that Jesus might not be real either. I just didn’t want there to be any room for confusion on the reality of God and what He’s done for us, and also on my trustworthiness in telling him the truth.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

That’s exactly me point. Thanks for sharing.

http://thecripplegate.com Jesse Johnson

When my daughter (3 yrs old) asks who the person is in the red suit and such, we tell her that he was a pastor who lived a long time ago, and who loved telling kids about Jesus. I stole that answer from Nate.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

That works til you see a drunk one ringing a bell!
Anonymous

I do business with Nordstrom in Seattle. I just found out yesterday they have four Santas for pictures – A white one, a black one, an Asian one, and an ASL (for deaf) one.

So if he is Pastor Santa I guess he’s gone seeker sensitive!

Starbucksgirl

“So if he is Pastor Santa I guess he’s gone seeker sensitive!”

LOL

Laura

Agreed. We have 3 children (11, 8, 2) and for our older ones we remained neutral. Neither promoting Santa nor specifically telling them he wasn’t real either. Around age 5 or 6 they started having more questions and we told them Santa was pretend.

Now with our 2 year old I want to be more deliberate with focusing specifically on the true celebration of Christmas, but my husband isn’t quite in agreeance. He feels that since neither of us questioned our faith after being raised in Christian households who also believed in Santa, that our kids will be fine too.

I feel similarly to you that regardless of the topic, I just don’t agree with lying to my children. I’ve been completely honest with my daughter (11 yr old) with any of her questions regarding middle school life, current events, sexuality, etc. Although I have found that the where-do-babies-come-from talk was far easier than the divorce questions (her dad left me for his mistress)…ha.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Sad to hear, Laura. God has a special tenderness for single moms and kids whose dad’s are out the picture (see Ps 146 for one of many examples). Glad to hear that honesty keeps working in the preteen years.

Laura

Thank you, but all is well! My daughter’s dad and I get along great and I remarried years ago. My husband’s ex left him for the same reason, so we had a lot to relate to. Our marriage is an immense blessing…love it when God gives you a reversal.

The preteen years are challenging (and so I hear are the teens), but being frank about things keeps the lines of communication open. Kids are so much smarter than we give them credit for, they generally know the truth anyway.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Thanks Laura.

Michael Coughlin

Amen. Thanks for a thoughtful explanation.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Pleasure Michael.

Ssaalwaech

http://www.faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=18365
Rachael Starke

You nailed it, Clint. (Note to self – try daring our music pastor to write a new melody to “We indeterminate Number of Persian Gentiles”…)

We’ve told our kids that Santa is fun story people like to pretend is real. What encourage me is when I recently asked my youngest (who’s 5 and still likes to play pretend with everything) – “Honey, who’s the better man – the one who only gives gifts to children when they’re good, or the Man who gives the gift of Himself for children who are bad and makes them good”. She giggled and said “Jesus!”, like the question was so silly it hardly bore asking. Indeed….

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Love it. Smart kid.

Jason

What if this isn’t the entire story? Is it possible there is something else here that is somewhat being looked over? Are we Christians making too big a deal about something meant to be fun and seasonal? (after all, who reminds their kids of Santa in May?)

I don’t care about the Santa stuff, my kids don’t hear me talk about it, but after reading your views I thought the best thing for me to do, according to your logic, is take ALL the books off my shelves and throw them away so my kids don’t confuse a true book with false books. What happens one day when they say, “Oh, the Chronicles of Narnia are fiction . . . well, what about Ahaz, Nehemiah, and Paul?

The “devil is in the details on this one.” When I figured out Santa was a myth, I thought it was fun. I didn’t think my parents lied, I didn’t think Jesus was false or the Bible untrue. AND the entire time, I never thought Santa was God. After all, what part of the myth promotes Santa as Creator, the one who sustains, King, Lord, High Priest, and all the other Christ-like attributes? I was never told to fear Santa for the forgiveness of sins. When I learned the truth, I thought “he sees you when you’re sleeping” was a poetic way of saying, “your parents know you and what goes on in life.” . . . No one looks around during the Christmas season and says, “The heavens are declaring the glory of Santa. . .”

Santa never fulfilled prophecy written a few thousand years before his birth, he wasn’t resurrected, then appear before Cephas, his disciples, and then 500 more. God didn’t then write books promoting Santa. . . the Holy Spirit testifies concerning his Word. That internal testimony elevates the integrity of the Word so much so that, with the testimony of creation, each of us, left without God’s grace, will seek to suppress the truth in unrighteousness!! Our sinful hearts should probably cause us to be more afraid then a seasonal figure?

Maybe we should attack the Santa myth because children in poor families who do not open presents might think they’re bad because they’re poor? That would at least be more socially just?!? What happens when our kids discover the tree, the garland, and most of the Christmas decorations find their roots in paganism AND we knew about it?!?!?

I want my kids to love the Lord and walk in His ways fulfilling His purpose. I pray they see a dad who upholds the Word, walks with integrity, and repents when wrong — a father who points them to Christ. At some point, their knowledge of the Word and discernment will lead them to discover dad was blind to some things in life and wrong. I didn’t mean to be, I didn’t try to excuse my sin, it was just there. But I pray their faith in the Lord, guided by His Word and accurate views about the Word will be their guide. I play a role, but the ultimate plumb-line for truth is the Bible — not me.

Bubbis2006

GREAT response…we don’t dwell on Santa but we have read stories and watched movies where Santa was included…all for fun and the use of imagination. My children know Christmas is about the birth of baby Jesus but I see nothing wrong with a little fiction and fun throughout the season. “after all, who reminds their kids of Santa in May” EXACTLY! My kids learn about Christ throughout the WHOLE year not just at Christmas!

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

I’m all for fun and fiction, as I stated in the article. And each parent needs to judge where their own kid is at as far as understanding the difference between fiction and reality. One can’t make a rule either way.
http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

I’m all for fun and fiction, as I stated in the article. And each parent needs to judge where their own kid is at as far as understanding the difference between fiction and reality. One can’t make a rule either way.
http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

I’m all for fun and fiction, as I stated in the article. And each parent needs to judge where their own kid is at as far as understanding the difference between fiction and reality. One can’t make a rule either way.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Hi Jason, it sounds like you’re trying to disagree with me, but if you read the post carefully you’ll see that I specifically address fiction verses lying, and even use Narnia as a case-in-point. If your kids are able to view your explanation of Santa as “a poetic way of saying” that you are watching them, then that’s fine. My kids would think Santa was omniscient. I don’t think Santa is sinful. I think Lying is sinful. It’s hard to sustain belief in Santa with no deception at all. That’s all I’m saying.

Jason

I agree lying is sinful! And I also think Christians overhype this and our circles tend to turn this “molehill” into mountain. I think this review somewhat glosses over the issues by still making the sweeping statements. Even when I believed, I never actually thought Santa was omniscient. My parents explained that was part of the song and a poetic device. I read your article and still disagree with most of the argument. But I’m glad I can keep reading Narnia, but should probably not let them read Harry Potter

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

As long as each parent wisely discerns what their children understand. If a kid started thinking Narnia and the Bible were on the same level of truth, that would be a problem. It’s up to each parent to know their kids.
http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

As long as each parent wisely discerns what their children understand. If a kid started thinking Narnia and the Bible were on the same level of truth, that would be a problem. It’s up to each parent to know their kids.

Jason

agreed

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

As long as each parent wisely discerns what their children understand. If a kid started thinking Narnia and the Bible were on the same level of truth, that would be a problem. It’s up to each parent to know their kids.
http://eowyns-heir.blogspot.com/ Christina

If you love Narnia, you’ll love Harry Potter. So much Gospel & Christian symbolism in there on every possible level. If you don’t believe me check out the book “How Harry Cast His Spell” by John Granger, or visit hogwartsprofessor.com. I know this past week I’ve personally been moved to a greater appreciation of the Incarnation through re-reading the end of the final book. I won’t ruin the story by going into detail, but seriously… it is fiction at its finest. I haven’t read a better-written story for children in years.

Jason

My wife loves HP. I look forward to reading them in the future! Thanks for the recommendation!

Truthstands

Jason, it seems like your argument is, “Santa never confused me, so what’s the problem?” This isn’t about your experience. It’s about objective universal truth. If you haven’t before, google Santa and Jesus and you’ll find a multitude of atheists making the argument that Jesus is nothing more than a fictional character like Santa.

The world connects the two. You didn’t, and I didn’t, by God’s grace alone. Why play with fire when so many are being burned alive by it?

Jason

You’re right . . . I now blame Santa for the Athiests unbelief. Those Athiests look for anything and everything to deny the reality of Jesus. It’s not Santa that causes unbelief . . . it’s that by nature we suppress the truth! They do the same thing most believers do regarding Santa they turn a molehill into a mountain and convolute the issues by making sweeping statements. There’s probably a thousand different ways families and people “play Santa.” This article kind of lumps all of them together without really diagnosing the issues. It’s because I understand Objective Universal Truth that makes me think the Santa mountain is not that big a deal! Next May listen to people talk in the mall and tell me how much Santa is involved!!!!

Richard Hall1

There is a big difference between telling fiction as truth and reading fiction for entertainment or lessons. That is one of the big points in the article.
http://www.theologicalthoughts.com/ Michael

“…best thing for me to do, according to your logic, is take ALL the books off my shelves and throw them away so my kids don’t confuse a true book with false books. What happens one day when they say, “Oh, the Chronicles of Narnia are fiction . . . well, what about Ahaz, Nehemiah, and Paul?”

Simple. Tell your children Narnia is fiction, and Ahaz, etc. were real. No problem with having books to learn from, as long we don’t treat them as Holy Scripture. The same goes for Santa. Santa as fiction is one thing, Santa as real is another.

Jason

Michael, that’s my point. I think the issue that is being convoluted here is how people view Santa. I think most people treat it as a fantasy / tradition / fun story who are not intently trying to deceive their kids but have fun. Unbelievers don’t honor Jesus during the season because they by nature wouldn’t want to and they are not going to honor him ANYTIME of the year!! But I also don’t think their trying to worship Santa and make him their God! Why would they want Santa to compete with their own desire to sit on their own throne!!

Teach your kids to discern truth, fiction, myth, fun, traditions and trust the Lord that He will be faithful to his chosen ones!

Bronwyn

Thanx Clint!!!!
We also (well me more than Ryan!) enjoy “pretend Christmas” with the girls. They know Father Christmas and all his mates are pretend, but enjoy playing the game for a while. But the oppertunities that arrive daily to give kiddies the gospel around Christmas are plentiful and precious, and they can only be used if the kids know that Santa and the his stuff are pretend and Christ and the bible stuff is really real!
So appreciate and agree with your standing on not lying to your kids (cos that’s what it is, unfortunately, whether it’s “just a little bit of childhood fun” or not). The confusion and distrust it causes later is nowhere near worth it.
Thanx again!!!! Miss you guys!
Bron

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Hey Doc, I bet Santa looks even more out of place in the deserts of Dubai!

esther

We keep our Nativity Scene indeterminable scholars from Persia in another part of the house during Christmas time, and we have two of them (one broke)…

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Awesome.

Jacqui Cunningham

I absolutely agree, Thank you for writing this, and getting the point across so well.
You mentioned your tree… Have you considered a Jesse Tree instead? We LOVE decorating our Jesse tree each year and looking at all the promises and prophesies that are fulfilled in our Precious Lord Jesus.
Have a Blessed Christmas!

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Hey Jacqui, thanks for mentioning the Jesse tree. Ww did that one year, and it was a huge hit with our kids. I didn’t think to mention it in the article.

Richard Hall1

I agree wholeheartedly. This tradition has taken such root I have been scorned by professing believers for “depriving my kids” of Santa, the alleged joy of Christmas. But as a child I deeply resented being lyed to by authority figures and thought most of their moral teachings were designed to keep me in check until I was old enough to know the truth and then do as I pleased just as they did. Being lied to undermined my faith in them just as their compromising lives. I think it is very dangerous to lie to your children about anything. Your article says it very well.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Thanks Richard. Honesty’s always the best policy.

Chazree

I don’t feel that letting your children believe in Santa changes anything about the true reason we celebrate. I think it adds magic to the season. I do not like others out there accuse parents of lying to their children. I was raised believing in Santa and I never felt like my parents lied to me. We were clearly taught that Christ is the real reason we celebrate and Santa giving presents is symbolic of God giving his son to the world.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Thanks for sharing your opinion and joining the conversation.
http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Thanks for sharing your opinion and joining the conversation.
http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Thanks for sharing your opinion and joining the conversation.

Jeremiah Main

Clint,
You are 100% right!
As a preschool – 8th grade principal, I did a lot of reading on brain development. One of the areas I was particularly interested in was creativity. I was amazed when I found a body of secular research talking about the loss of creativity when children reach the age of realizing the stories their parents told them weren’t true. The purpose of the research was to figure out how to keep creativity alive into adulthood, but I was blown away as a Christian to see secular researchers lump religious “myths” in with secular myths and talk about children rejecting them all as untruths.
So know that there is actually research out there that supports your concerns.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Good to know, thanks Jeremiah.

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http://www.thehappysanitarium.blogspot.com/ NaomiG@the happy sanitarium

This is EXACTLY how we’ve approached Santa. We have NEVER lied to our kids, and yes, it has led to uncomfortable explanations at a hopefully age appropriate level of where babies come from. But, we want them to trust us always, and always feel that no matter what happens, they can come talk to us first.

We’re not Santa Nazi’s however, we watch Elf every Christmas, for example, the girls simply know that the Santa as we know him today is not real, and their gifts come from people who love them very much, and work hard to purchase gifts that they think the girls will love.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

I LOVE Elf. “Watch out for the yellow ones.” And I like that you are not Santa Nazi’s.

Sarah Schreffler

We pretty much do the same thing — Santa does not come to our house. We talk about St Nicholas and how Santa is what someone might write on a tag when they want to give an anonymous gift. And we make sure to go out and “play Santa” for others as well so he can be on the giving end.

But this year, he’s 4… and he’s ASKED us “Can I write a letter to Santa” and we ask him if Santa is real and he’ll SAY “No” but he still wants to “Play Santa” — we’re still not signing any presents from Santa but have decided to let him put out cookies and milk, write messages to Santa (and not just on Christmas eve. He’s put out 2 already. One was a warning to be careful, though I lost the thread of what Santa was supposed to be careful of!)

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Yup. Fiction can be fun when it’s not sold as gospel truth. Thanks.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1743541290 Stephanie Bridges

I agree with what you have written. My children fully enjoy the fun of Christmas, the excitement and the fun stories about Santa Clause. I never want them to doubt that what I tell them is the truth. They have just as much fun without having to think someone can come down our chimney.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Ha. Exactly.

Dlavertyfamily

We choose to teach our children to keep the Feasts of The LORD (Yahweh) listed in Leviticus 23. We have been doing so for 20 years and now have the great blessing of having our grandchildren join us in doing so also!

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

I’m just glad that Leviticus isn’t binding on the Church. I LOVE prawns and frequently wear polyester. Thanks for sharing.

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Bryce Lenon

This is excellent, incisive, and right to the heart of the matter. It sums up exactly what I have been going through in preparation for this Christmas season. About two weeks ago my eldest son (7 years old) was spouting on about Santa and I decided to stop deflecting the inevitable and told him that Santa was not real, that Jesus is the unseen one into whom we place our faith, not to give us presents, but to give us the gift of salvation.

I was feeling exactly what you put into words.

My son actually didn’t seem that fazed by it. More importantly, I felt that I had been faithful in setting groundwork for belief in the truth of the Gospel.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Glad to hear he wasn’t fazed. Thanks for chiming in.

Kathryn

I am a Senior in college and have been a believer for four years. The Lord has done incredible things in such a short time. Last night I was with 2 friends from high school (also believers) Some how it came up that I didn’t think I would do Santa if I ever have kids. They were shocked and could not believe I would ‘deprive’ my children of that excitement. I did tell them I didn’t want to lie to my kids. It would also be hard for me to act excited about Santa ‘coming’ when the King of the universe is the One who came and is coming back! The conversation went on way too long. I like what you said in one of the comments “as for me and my house”. I told them the only person this conversation is really going to matter with will be my husband.
But it did lead me in starting to search how others have handled it. Love what you said. Thank you.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

“As for me and my house” is usually a good way to diffuse conflict, as ti shows people that you respect their view, but hold your convictions too tightly to change in one conversation.

Sparkie0

we didn’t lie to our kids. we knew we’d make enough mistakes and that was one we could avoid. a Christian friend told me how they raised their kids to walk with Christ and when one learned the truth about Santa they point blank asked them how they could lie about it. i never wanted to experience that. they never missed out on anything and we taught them that others made another choice and we didn’t counter that decision. our grandkids are raised without Santa too. there is enough wonder and beauty in the truth, they don’t miss out on anything.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Yikes, that is exactly what I never want to experience either. Thanks for sharing that.

Wndibrd

We do the same thing at our house. I tell my kids that I just wouldn’t lie to them.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Good decision.

BCook

I have long wondered why parents were willing to lie to their kids, then get upset when their kids lie to them in return (about activities after school, internet sites visited, the list goes and goes and goes). Wise up, parents! Your kids are learning very well from you. What’s so cute about “tricking” your kids, then hoping they will trust you in the big issues of life, like who to marry, why premarital sex is not a good idea, why they should serve God with their whole lives, not just Christmas and Easter lives. Good stuff, Mr. Archer.

Side note: grocery lines tell how well I have taught my children. When they are asked about Sata – I mean Santa Clause, and they, without hesitation, answer, “We don’t do Santa. It’s about Jesus,” I stand back and get to enjoy the awkward silence that follows.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Oh the joys of the awkward silence. Thanks for your input.

Guest

Great article Clint! This sounds exactly like I would want to treat it with my own kids someday. Fiction and fantasy can be fun, but kids should understand where the truth is.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Right. That’s a good summary.

f213

I have to be honest, I grew up “believing” in Santa and did not feel like my parents had lied to me for my whole life (up to that point) or that “I was gullible for falling for it” when I found out he wasn’t real. I feel like this article and some of the respones paints a bit of a broad brush. I agree with some of the statements from the writer Jason in that to me, there is no real comparison with Christ and Santa with the prophecies, resurrection, other writings in the Bible, etc. (Also, when I was a kid, I had no idea what “omniscient” meant and so that thought never crossed my mind about Santa and I certainly didn’t think he was God.) My cousins and I always did plays for our parents for Christmas (all of us believing in Santa) and our plays were not about Santa but instead were about the Nativity or using Christmas as a tool to tell a friend about the gospel. As an adult, I love to sing Christian Christmas carols, but I think it’s also fun to sing the so-called “inane jingles” too. Apparently I am in the minority about this based on the comments on this thread, but I just would caution people to remember that just like you want someone else to respect your views, you should respect theirs too, even if they differ from your own. I don’t mean that you shouldn’t have your convictions, I just think we need to be careful. Is this a salvation issue? No I don’t think so. So it seems that instead of arguing about Santa, we need to talk about things that matter to salvation like the virgin birth and the death, burial and resurrection of Christ. And please don’t think I am saying it’s ok to lie, because it’s not, but I just think this is exactly what Satan wants: for Christians to be fighting among each other taking our focus off of what Christ our Savior did for us which is why we celebrate Christmas in the first place.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Well stated. I doubt that you are in the minority worldwide. And I agree it’s not a salvation issue at all. It’s up to each parent to determine the best way they can teach them the gospel. I’m expressing how we view it at my house. Thanks for sharing.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1225291374 Hope Pryor

Great post…would that I had understood this great insight about allowing “little white lies for the sake of fun” to pollute the bringing up of my own children in God’s truth…who themselves are now parents and doing the same Santa “just-for-fun” thing with their children…my grandchildren. I’m happy to say that Santa is no longer represented by story or decoration in grandpa and grandma’s home during the Christmas celebration.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

There’s always hope. Thanks Hope.

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Jen

I grew up with parents who taught me solid Biblical truth…AND we still did Santa. All reference to Santa was that he was the “spirit of Christmas”. I was never told he was a real person. I was told that he was the spirit of giving, the same way God gave to us through Christ. The magic of Santa still is a warm & fond memory of mine, and I never once questioned the validity of Christ when I learned that my mom & dad were indeed that “spirit of Christmas” I had previously believed was a round-bellied jolly guy. Christ is the focus of our Christmas celebration, but I haven’t been convicted that playing along with the fantasies of your children prevents you from raising them in truth. I will not lie to my child, however, I do allow them to believe in a little Christmas fantasy. My reason for not worrying about confusion between the myth of Santa and the reality of the Gospel?? The Holy Spirit will convince my child of the reality of Christ. My job as a parent is to train my child in the ways of the Lord, and God promises that when they are old, they will not depart from it. It is not my job as a parent to convict and convince my child of the reality of Christ and their need for a savior….the Holy Spirit does that prompting. What a relief that is. I can rest in the power of the Holy Spirit. As long as I teach the gospel truth to my children, it’s not my job to make sure all of “life” works out just right so that they have no questions. They will question, regardless of what I teach them about Christmas, Easter, the Tooth Fairy, Halloween, or even their imaginary friends they come up with. I believe in honesty and truth – from God, and from me as a parent. But, I don’t think that means Santa has to be cut out completely. I’m carefully managing the extent I talk about Santa and the manner in which I describe him….but I’m allowing the fun and relying on the Holy Spirit to be bigger than my child’s fantasy. I want my children to have the magical memories. Hopefully those joyful memories of receiving their favorite things will give them excitement when they’re older to give in the “spirit of Christmas” as Christ gave to us. Merry Christmas!

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Thanks Jen. Especially if the “little Christmas fantasy” is seen as that, and not viewed as gospel truth, I think it can be harmless.

Pastornathan

Nope I don’t think you are going too far. I would say more, but I have to remove those same “indeterminable scholars” from my nativity set also!

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Funny. Remember to return them in 2 years.

Mommaof3

Too Far? Nope. Agree 110%.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Thanks for the support!

Mike Spackman

I have to chime in here. I really like your view and am equally passionate about not lying to my children. It’s been an interesting time telling all my family we are not “playing the game” with our children. My mom got frustrated and told us it was like we had joined another religion!

In fact, we are not doing any presents on Christmas day, just a super cool birthday party for Christ. We celebrated Saint Nicolas day with stockings on Dec 6th to celebrate the amazing and charitable man who gave to others in need. Did he bring the candy? No, mommy and daddy did, but we remember how good it is to be nice.

Also, I spent some time in Mexico and they have a tradition of 3 kings day Jan 6th. I thought it would be really cool to re-enforce the nativity story about Christ coming Christmas day and then the presents came some time later. We exchange gifts much like we would have done on Christmas day, but we do it on January 6th – in memory of the gifts the wise men brought Jesus.

We also don’t have a television, and my children don’t have the consumerism sold so rampantly to our young and pliable children. We haven’t missed it at all. We still watch movies and do plenty on the internet/youtube/etc.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Thanks for sharing your family’s application of this. Each parent needs to discern how to guard their precious ones.

Bill Wood

AMEN! Years ago we struggled with the same thing and I decided thta if I was going to hold my children to a high standard of honesty and integrity it had to start with me too! We decided long ago not to lie to our chlidren about Christmas (i.e. “Santa”) or about Easter, etc.

To this day I believe it was the best decision we ever made. How can I expect them to be honest when I tell them fairy tales that I KNOW are a lie!

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

It’s a good point that we need to exemplify how we want our children to handle the truth.

balletstars3

Couldn’t have said it better myself!!!

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Thanks!

Donaldchar

WWJD? Always the bottom line, and frequently answerable. Would Jesus waste His time helping children “experience” Santa, or just briefly explain the demonic contemporary myth and its godly historic basis. I think the latter.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Thanks Donald, I’m not convinced the contemporary myth is demonic, but I appreciate your zeal!

Mike

Amen! I’m glad to hear I’m not alone in how I teach my children. Merry Christmas to all and don’t leave Christ out of Christmas which is was Santa topically does.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Yup, no “Happy Holidays” at my house either!

JoshBrown159951

My parents love Santa and let my brother and I believe he was real. In my rebellious teenage years, I concluded that Jesus was just a “Santa” for grown ups. Now I’m a Christian with two kids and I do not want them to think the way I did. Of course, my parents are offended that I would consider not letting him believe, but I think allowing him to pretend might be a happy medium. Thanks for the post!

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

That’s spot on. Thanks.

Dwayne Schultz

Good article. My wife and I decided not to do the Santa thing with our kids and we haven’t regretted it. Society at large will be wreaking enough havoc on the Gospel Truth without us adding to it…..Thanks again.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Good decision. Reduce your “cartoon footprint.”

http://profiles.google.com/grundenad Angelica Grunden

I agree wholeheartedly! We’ve established some fun St. Nicholas’ Day traditions with our kids that teach them the truth based legend of who St. Nicholas was and put all the attention of Christmas on Jesus’ birthday and giving as God gave. I wrote about it a few years ago here: (http://thesakeofthecall.blogspot.com/2008/12/st-nicholas-day.html).

One other thought that I’ve had since writing that post is that even if the kids who were deceived about Santa don’t doubt their faith in God, there is still confusion. Children who believe in a god-like Santa when they are young often grow into adults who believe in a Santa-like god when they are older.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Right. Thanks for sharing.

Joshua Grauman

Hey bro, hope you’re well! This article is why we play a game I made up called ‘reality check’ with our kids where I tell them a person/place/thing and ask if it is real or pretend… Ie. angels, demons, dinosaurs, sorcerers (the Bible kind) vs. unicorns, fairies, Santa, Easter bunny, etc. etc. etc.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Love it. Good to hear from you Josh. Love to M.

Anonymous

Hi Clint

Thanks for this. You may be interested in this similar post I read the other day:

http://www.thepoachedegg.net/the-poached-egg/2011/12/santa-claus-and-our-childrens-trust.html

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Thanks for the link. I’ll check it out.

Stacystone4

Amen. Thank you for this article. We believe that it isn’t “fantasy” or “pretend” or “magical”. It simply isn’t the Truth. We, as humans, like to put sins in different categories, such as little white lies aren’t as bad as a flat out lie, or well I told I lie, but I haven’t killed anyone. Well the Truth is, the holy character of God today is the same as told of in Genesis- Revelations. He hasn’t gotten more slack with these changing times. A little white lie will still get you into Hell. Thank God for His forgiveness and grace found only in His Son, Jesus Christ.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Just remember that there is place in literature and communication for fictitious scenarios (like in parables) which aid the truth, instead of hinder it. I like the Narnia series for this reason.

Mark Loughridge

“I want my children to grow up knowing that their dad never, ever lies to them. About anything.”

The key sentence. Well done.

As far as my three girls are concerned I’m the only bearded man who brings them presents at Christmas. And as well as all the theological and ethical reasons, there is the selfish one: I get all their love and affection – as opposed to Santa getting all the praise for my hard work (or my wife’s, if I’m being honest!).

And it has taken on something of an in-joke with them (aged 3,6,8) when people ask them about Santa – they look at us and smile with a twinkle in their eye.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Yeah, why do all tho good presents come from an outsider, while the lame ones come from dad? Kid’s need to know why dad gets in his car every morning. It’s so we can have what we need, and gifts at Christmas.

Tracy

There is a place in our world for Santa that can truthfully aid in our spreading of the Gospel. Before you accuse me of being a pagan or worse, please consider this. As our children grew from toddlers to quite healthy and mentally sound adults, with a Christian world view, we used the opportunity to be Santa’s helpers as we participated in giving gifts to needy families in our area. These families were not of the church-going type and would have quite promptly slammed proverbial door in our faces if we had not begun the relationship building through our “playing of Santa Clause.” Think what you will, but there have been over one hundred families that were able to see God working through us and have started/continued some part of their journey towards an authentic relationship with Christ.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Tracy, I’m all for that. I got nothing against Santa per se. What I’m against is lying to my kids. Letting them play along for the fun of it, and for the service of others and the glory of God is a great way to redeem the Santa myth. But there’s no need for them to actually believe Santa is an eternal being who is alive today. Thanks for your input.

http://www.facebook.com/attorneycjones Chuck Jones

Going to have to respectfully disagree. There is a difference between “lie” and “pretend.” For example, how many fathers refer to their daughters as “princess” or “pumpkin” or something like that? Most such daughters are not actual princesses – that is, they are not children of kings or queens or princes – and of course, biologically speaking, they likely are even LESS similar to an actual pumpkin. So is that father lying to his child?

Santa Claus is a figurement for God. He is omniscient (he sees you when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake), he is the absolute judge of the morality of all actions (he knows if you’ve been bad or good), and he wants you to be good simply for the sake of being good (so be good for goodness’ sake) – there is nothing outside of his possession or his power (visiting every child’s house on Christmas Eve), and he is beneficent and wants to give us all that is his if we are good.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Uh…yeah…we are going to need to disagree on lots of what you said. But thanks for sharing Chuck. BTW, I am not against fantasy or pretend, as the post states. I call my gal princess, but she doesn’t believe it’s literally true that she is an heir to my throne or anything. If kids get that it’s pretend, I’m all for it. I’m only against deceiving our kids. As for the “figurement for God” thing, that is a problem for me. God told us not to represent him in figurements, or pictures, or an other image. And no human concoction will ever represent the fullness of what He wants us to know about him. Sola Scripture all the way. Also, God doesn’t judge us based on if we are bad or good, but on the perfect completed work of Christ on our behalf. If anything in my life depended on me being bad or good, I know I’d have no chance of God’s blessing. It’s all his grace. Hope this makes sense.

http://mriccardi.blogspot.com Mike Riccardi

God doesn’t judge us based on if we are bad or good, but on the perfect completed work of Christ on our behalf. If anything in my life depended on me being bad or good, I know I’d have no chance of God’s blessing. It’s all his grace.

Amen. I’ve always appreciated this clip from John Piper on the bad news that “Santa Claus is coming to town.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aKEkzh0Inw

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Thanks Mike. Piper has a habit of consistently nailing stuff like this.

Boramommy

We never began the myth with our daughter, and won’t with our still young sons (one of which has Asperger’s Syndrome and takes everything literally anyway). Besides the points you make, has anyone considered that children must wonder what all the toy drives are for if Santa brings toys to ALL little girls and boys? He was billed as a fantasy character in our home, just like the tooth fairy etc.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Ha, I hadn’t thought about the toy drive inconsistency.

Agoodwin

I still believe in Santa. We teach our children of Santa as the “Spirit of Christmas”. In our house if you don’t belive in Santa then you don’t get anything from him. We started early as a tradition that Santa brought that one special present. My children are 16 and 19 and still believe. Our “Santa” is now buying gifts for adopted families who would otherwise having nothing. Santa is alive and well if you choose to believe in him. He is in our house as the “Spirit of Christmas” and what the holiday stands for (Jesus’ birthday). Without teaching anything about Santa the kids are even more confused when other children believe in Santa. When taught that Santa is not ever make believe it is much easier for the kids grasp. This way you are never lying to your children, because everyday somewhere Santa exists to other.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

That’s one way to tackle the problem! Unfortunately, my propositional truth meter won’t let me function that way. Something/someone is not true just because I believe. That’s too Post Modern for theCripplegate to stomach. Thanks for sharing though.

Greg

I actually read this article yesterday and have spent a lot of time thinking about it. I wanted to comment but wasn’t sure exactly how to express what I was feeling. Here goes. I do not feel that allowing the children to believe in the magic of Santa has an ill effect on them. I do not think that it had any bad impacts on my life and I certainly do not consider my parents to be liars for playing this game with me. That’s all it is, a game. I think that eventually, children grow out of the Santa thing because they figure out that he is a fantasy character and that it is all truly just a game. I have never in my life thought that my parents were dishonest with me. They always taught me about the true meaning of Christmas and actively partook in many religious events surrounding the holiday. Now that I have children of my own I can say that there are few things that compare to the excitement and the look on there faces when they run into my bedroom at 5am yelling “Santa came get up Santa came!” and to see them just stare at the presents that were not there when they went to bed and watch them ponder the mystery that is Santa Clause. I do not think that people who choose not to do the Santa thing are bad in any way, everyone has there beliefs and opinions but my stance is that the Santa thing is a game and children eventually do figure it out. Besides, Santa dedicates his entire life to bringing children toys, sounds like a good guy to me. The only way Santa can take away from the holiday, is if the parents allow him to. I think there is plenty of room during the holidays for the jolly man in red so long as parents do there part. Just my two cents. Thanks for listening

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Greg, your 2 cents are well articulated. Thanks for providing another perspective. I guess I just don’t want my kids’ excitement and joy at 5am to be based on misinformation. I want them to be riled up by true propositions and reality. Sometimes reality is less glamorous than fiction, so I encourage fiction. Just not deception. We can all play along with the pretend fun. Maybe we lose some of the excitement, but we gain the credibility. If a scenario ever occurs in which my son is forced to take my word over someone else’s, I want him to be able to say “I know my dad and he never lies about anything.” For some, they are ok with the “except Santa Claus” clause. But `im not. To each his own on this. Each parent must know their kid well enough to make the call. I appreciate your comment, Greg. Merry Christmas!

Katrina Myatt

I completely agree with you right down go the Magi traveling from afar. Ours are always across the room to the East, It’s a long journey

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Love it. And make sure they appear at the *house* of Joseph, not the stable.

Tracy

Do we actually know for certain that is was the “house of Joseph?” In Greek the term translated as “inn” is most accurately a guest room. In our modern minds, guest rooms are usually associated with hotels and thus our understanding.

During this advent season I regret to say that I have heard and read much bickering over how incorrect we are in setting up our Navitiy scenes, decorating our worship centers (not every one meets in a traditional church), Santa (I encourage all to research St. Nicholas and get a better understanding of his beliefs), and the list goes on to even the songs we sing. And just for an “fyi” the word holiday is defined as holy day (definition number 1 by Webster).

There is much that we do not know. One thing that I do know is that as a professional educator and author we have been able to help billions more remember the story of how Christ came to Earth by our slight embellishments (not intentionally misleading) to romanticize and make it stick better. Ah, the stickiness factor.

We ALL must offer grace to one another instead of being like a brood of chickens picking at each other till blood pours.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Thanks Tracy. I am also in favor of not bickering or drawing blood. I hope that is obvious from the article’s tone. And just to be clear, we don’t really make a big deal about the nativity scene in our home. `i was being facetious. The main point is simply this: we tell our kids the truth and let the chips land where they will. Thanks for adding your voice to the conversation.

http://jasonaclark.com/ Jason A Clark

I completely agree with your article. My daughter is 4 1/2 now and my wife and I decided early on that it simply goes against everything we claim to believe in to perpetuate the myth (lie) of Santa. Like you, I said I wanted my children to grow up knowing I would never ever lie to them.

It hasn’t been easy. Even the most religious of our family reminds us often how silly they think we are for not “letting our daughter believe in Santa.” Most people say something like “well, we believed it Santa and it was fun and it never hurt anything.” Well, that’s true for a lot of people but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s a lie and it detracts from the wonderful gifts God has given us.

Why should we allow our children to believe in a fictitious Santa who brings them gifts on Christmas when it’s just as easy to say those gifts were from God (who gave us jobs and provided us the means to buy those gifts as a reminder of the gift He gave us in his son, Jesus)?

Our daughter is in a private Christian pre-k that reinforces our beliefs and we’re thankful for it. They teach the children that Santa is just someone who helps us celebrate Christmas which is really about the birth of Jesus. I’m okay with it. And so is my daughter.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Truth isn’t always easy (just ask John the Baptist). I agree that pre-k is being balanced. I like that they leave the specifics up to the parents. It’s our job, not theirs.

JR

Our first child turned 3 this year and began understanding some of the unfortunate complexities of Christmas. We determined early on that we would be careful to be honest about the reality of Santa. We did not want to get to the point when every child discovers Santa isn’t real and have to explain our promotion of an omniscient, omnipresent, father figure, with a book that determines blessing compared to our belief in God and Christ. It seems unfair to ask a 10 year old to give up their affection for a “supernatural” man he or she has been told exists, who is apologetically proven one day a year by missing cookies, half glasses of milk, and presents, while asking them to commit their affections to a God/Man with seemingly similar characteristics.

It is our hope to not simply minimize confusion and dilute an atmosphere where trust is questioned, but to begin to turn the young mind we are entrusted with towards the Gospel. Every bit of energy we put into convincing our child that Santa, Tooth Fairy, etc, are real we are neglecting time we could be teaching them about the realities of Christ.

This method proved to be promising the other day in the supermarket. The cashier asked our girl if she was ready for Santa Claus to come. After a strange look of confusion our girl answered by saying, “Santa and Mickey Mouse are pretend. But, Jesus is alive.” In that moment I didn’t care a bit about what the cashier thought of our methods of Christmas childrearing (though her facial expressions communicated disapproval). My child was grasping the foundation of the Gospel! And, it was at the expense of Santa Clause.

Missing this opportunity for Gospel proclamation in young minds during Advent season for the chance to exalt Santa is like trading riches for rags because Santa is dead, but Jesus is Alive!
JR

Our first child turned 3 this year and began understanding some of the unfortunate complexities of Christmas. We determined early on that we would be careful to be honest about the reality of Santa. We did not want to get to the point when every child discovers Santa isn’t real and have to explain our promotion of an omniscient, omnipresent, father figure, with a book that determines blessing compared to our belief in God and Christ. It seems unfair to ask a 10 year old to give up their affection for a “supernatural” man he or she has been told exists, who is apologetically proven one day a year by missing cookies, half glasses of milk, and presents, while asking them to commit their affections to a God/Man with seemingly similar characteristics.

It is our hope to not simply minimize confusion and dilute an atmosphere where trust is questioned, but to begin to turn the young mind we are entrusted with towards the Gospel. Every bit of energy we put into convincing our child that Santa, Tooth Fairy, etc, are real we are neglecting time we could be teaching them about the realities of Christ.

This method proved to be promising the other day in the supermarket. The cashier asked our girl if she was ready for Santa Claus to come. After a strange look of confusion our girl answered by saying, “Santa and Mickey Mouse are pretend. But, Jesus is alive.” In that moment I didn’t care a bit about what the cashier thought of our methods of Christmas childrearing (though her facial expressions communicated disapproval). My child was grasping the foundation of the Gospel! And, it was at the expense of Santa Clause.

Missing this opportunity for Gospel proclamation in young minds during Advent season for the chance to exalt Santa is like trading riches for rags because Santa is dead, but Jesus is Alive!

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

I like your point about trying to “minimize the confusion.” Thanks for your insights.

Beth Brown

I vividly remember our oldest daughter asking us around Christmas, when she was about four years old, if all the things we had told her about Santa were really true. I still recall the look that passed between my husband and I as we contemplated whether to lie to her or not, because you see we had never lied to her before. We nodded slighty to each other and proceeded to do just that. Lie. We felt guilty for weeks afterwards. God, in His grace and kindness, did bring salvation to our home and lives a few years later, for which we’re very grateful.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

It’s that feeling of guilt that I want to avoid. There’s no need for it if we’re just honest with our kids.

ErinElizabeth

Great article, and I’m even more impressed with your respectful replies to each comment/dissenting opinion. I remember believing in Santa, but not as a result of deliberate teaching on the subject by my parents- I think that’s where I identify most strongly with your position- even for something “fun,” like Santa Claus, I’d have a hard time reconciling intentional, deliberate efforts on the part of my parents to get me to truly believe something fictional. Is it really substantially more “fun” for kids to vehemently believe that the person of Santa Claus exists and for parents to someday have to deal with the often-crushing discovery that he doesn’t (and answer for their role in perpetuating that belief) than for the whole family to “believe” in the fun behind the idea of Santa Claus without parents either explicitly lying to their kids or stamping out their fancies? I think that’s probably the best way to describe the way Santa figured into our Christmases when we were little: Mom and Dad didn’t “teach” us that there is a Santa and this is how he operates, etc., and questions about Santa were answered truthfully, but they didn’t try to prevent us from “believing” in Santa, or perhaps more accurately, pretending there was a Santa, as long as we wanted to. Maybe an imaginary friend is the best analogy: parents and children alike “know” there is no one there, but if a young child has fun pretending that there is, parents don’t need to sit them down and prove empirically that the friend doesn’t exist, and can even engage in the “game” by setting an extra place at the table or buying a second ice-cream cone once in awhile. I do have a definite memory of my mom making the distinction, when I tried to use the societally-taught “you’d better be good or Santa won’t bring you any presents!” logic on my little sister, that “you aren’t given presents on Christmas because you’re GOOD, you’re given presents on Christmas because you’re loved.” No reinforcing the Santa myth, no going out of her way to “disillusion” us, and contrasting the Santa myth, believed in or not, with the truth of Jesus and salvation as a free gift given because “God so loved us” and not because we could ever be good enough to deserve him. My hope is that my children will be able to enjoy the beauty and nostalgia and fun of fancies like Santa Claus, will appreciate the wonder and mystery of the birth of Christ, and that the truth of the gospel will take root in their hearts at a young age.

ErinElizabeth

And in case I wasn’t clear, I didn’t feel like you were advocating any “crushing” of childlike fancies or “disillusionment” of fantasy, my language was in response to commenters who seemed to see a choice not to actively teach a fairy tale as fact in that light.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Nope, I got that you’re on muy side

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

This is great supporting input. Thank you ErinElizabeth.

Camille

I agree with you that the Santa lie helps kids discover the other lies, like religion and creationism. Let’s just stop lying to kids, and to other adults, period! (Don’t worry, clergymen will still have work, as people will still need help in making ethical decisions, improving their character, and in getting through life’s difficulties, but they will have to do it with the truth, not religion.)
Camille

I agree with you that the Santa lie helps kids discover the other lies, like religion and creationism. Let’s just stop lying to kids, and to other adults, period! (Don’t worry, clergymen will still have work, as people will still need help in making ethical decisions, improving their character, and in getting through life’s difficulties, but they will have to do it with the truth, not religion.)
Greatplainsgal

I not only agree but experience this exact loss of my child’s faith in me. Before I was a Christian I did the whole Santa thing with my child. When he was about 3 or 4, the Lord conquered my stubborn heart; we had an infant son, too, by this time. But I didn’t undo the Sanda myth for son 1. What could it hurt, I thought. Then in the first grade, his teacher as a writing exercise had all children write a letter to Santa (unbeknownst to me) and also had her husband write letters from Santa back to each. On Christmas morning, son 1 ran downstairs and saw that the stocking was all there was from Santa (we had at least switched to having the large gifts be from us) and he burst into a wail. Grandparents who had traveled over a thousand miles were totally puzzled and distraught at Christmas morning being treated by our child as a catastrophe. We got him aside and unwound the mystery. It seems that in his Santa letter he had asked for a life sized robot to “help Mommy clean” and the letter from Santa (teacher’s husband) had said If you are good, there will be a big, nice gift for you. So my distraught son had concluded that Santa thought he hadn’t been good because there was “only ” the filled stocking with small, not big, gifts. The loud boo hoos continued as we explained to him that Santa wasn’t real, thus crushing his little heart that not only had we lied to him (by ommission) but the favoriet teacher in whose hand he had placed his heart, had lied to him, too. The wails got louders as we tried to comfort him. And he has remained a total skeptic to this day (he’s an adult now) and always looked askance at me when I tried to talk about how God REALLY does give us GRACE. (He told me in college that I was just trying to give him an easy faith by telling him about God’s grace –just to “suck him in”) I don’t think all his skepticism of faith is related to that early time but parents should never go this route.
Needless to say, we did NOT perpetuate the myth with 2yr old son 2. As an adult, he has faith. Is it connected? You tell me.
Greatplainsgal

I not only agree but experienced this exact loss of my child’s faith in me AND in God. Before I was a Christian I did the whole Santa thing with my child. When he was about 3 or 4, the Lord conquered my stubborn heart; we had an infant son, too, by this time. But I didn’t undo the Sanda myth for son 1. What could it hurt, I thought. Then in the first grade, his teacher as a writing exercise had all children write a letter to Santa (unbeknownst to me) and also had her husband write letters from Santa back to each. On Christmas morning, son 1 ran downstairs and saw that the stocking was all there was from Santa (we had at least switched to having the large gifts be from us) and he burst into a wail. Grandparents who had traveled over a thousand miles were totally puzzled and distraught at Christmas morning being treated by our child as a catastrophe. We got him aside and unwound the mystery. It seems that in his Santa letter he had asked for a life sized robot to “help Mommy clean” and the letter from Santa (teacher’s husband) had said If you are good, there will be a big, nice gift for you. So my distraught son had concluded that Santa thought he hadn’t been good because there was “only ” the filled stocking with small, not big, gifts. The loud boo hoos continued as we explained to him that Santa wasn’t real, thus crushing his little heart that not only had we lied to him (by ommission) but the favoriet teacher in whose hand he had placed his heart, had lied to him, too. The wails got louders as we tried to comfort him. And he has remained a total skeptic to this day (he’s an adult now) and always looked askance at me when I tried to talk about how God REALLY does give us GRACE. (He told me in college that I was just trying to give him an easy faith by telling him about God’s grace –just to “suck him in”) I don’t think all his skepticism of faith is related to that early time but parents should never go this route.
Needless to say, we did NOT perpetuate the myth with 2yr old son 2. As an adult, he has faith. Is it connected? You tell me.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Wow, what a powerful and poignant testimony. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Pingback: Weekly Links (12/23/2011) – Christmas Edition « The Beacon
Starbucksgirl

When I had children the main reason that I didn’t want to tell them that Santa was real was because I would be lying. I didn’t want to dishonor the Lord by lying. It was a personal issue of obedience to Christ. The scripture says the following in Proverbs 6:16-19 (see below). This was the reason that I never lied about Santa. I did not want to be an abomination to Him. I never even considered the effect that lying or not lying would have on my children as it was irrelevant. I couldn’t get past the fact that God says never to lie. I struggle with my sin every day and am thankful for the grace that God provides but knowingly lying would defile my conscience as it should every believer no matter the topic.

“There are six things which the LORD hates,Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him:

17Haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
And hands that shed innocent blood,

18A heart that devises wicked plans,
Feet that run rapidly to evil,

19A false witness who utters lies,
And one who spreads strife among brothers.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Amen and amen.

Jim Wood

As a father of seven, the youngest being seventeen, I assure you your children are blessed to have parents who value the truth over tradition. I commend you for understanding that satan is the father of lies. My children have grown up knowing the difference and are vocal about their gratitude!

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Thanks for the affirmation Jim. It’s a blessing to have kids who appreciate your ethos.

Rubydooby

i have just asked my parents how Santa got into the house without setting off the burgler alarm and they said…….”watch Arther Christmas, that film will answer all your questions!” So i took it as if they had no clue and were just making it up so there i have finally outwitted my parents about Santa hahahahahahaha! Get in there!

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Brilliant.

Websmythe

Personally, if they ask, I am quite happy to tell any kid, “Yes, there really is a Santa Claus”. Along time ago, he was known by another name, and the story about him has changed, as all stories do. But his spirit lives on.

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Sure, as long as “and his spirit lives on” isn’t in a reincarnation way!

http://www.clintarcher.com Clint

Ok everyone, thanks for your interest and for adding your voice to the conversation. In honor of Christmas, we’re closing the comments. May God bless you and your families as you apply the wisdom He gives you. Enjoy the celebration of our Savior’s First Advent. Pray fo rthe Second to come quickly! Merry Christmas and a ho ho ho
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Why Lie to Your Kids about Santa?

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