September 8, 2011

When Others Mistreat You

by Nathan Busenitz

When other people treat us badly, or backstab us, or wrongly speak ill of us, how are we to respond?

Jeremiah Burroughs, in The Rare Jewel of Contentment, answers that question by reminding us that, even when others mistreat us, it is no excuse for growing anxious, angry, or discontent.

He says this:

* * * * *

“I think I could be content with God’s hand,” says one, “So far as I see the hand of God in a thing I can be content. But when men deal so unreasonably and unjustly with me, I do not know how to bear it. I can bear that I should be in God’s hands, but not in the hands of men. When my friends or acquaintances deal so unrighteously with me, oh, this goes very hard with me, so that I do not know how to bear it from men.”

For taking away this reasoning, consider:

1. Though they are men who bring this cross on you, yet they are God’s instruments. God has a hand in it, and they can go no further than God would have them go. This was what quieted David when Shimei cursed him: God has a hand in it, he said, though Shimei is a base, wicked man, yet I look beyond him to God. So, do any of your friends deal injuriously with you, and wrongly with you? Look up to God, and see that man but as an instrument in God’s hands.

2. If this is your trouble that men do so wrong you, you ought rather to turn your hearts to pity them, than to murmur or be discontented. For the truth is, if you are wronged by other men, you have the better of it, for it is better to bear wrong than to do wrong a great deal. If they wrong you, you are in a better condition than they, because it is better to bear, than to do wrong.

3. Though you meet with hard dealings from men, yet you meet with nothing but kind, good and righteous dealings from God. When you meet with unrighteous dealings from them, set one against the other. And that is an answer to [this trial].

* Source: Jeremiah Burroughs, The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment (Banner of Truth Trust, 2002), 190-191.

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Nathan Busenitz

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Nathan serves on the pastoral staff of Grace Church and teaches theology at The Master's Seminary in Los Angeles.
  • http://twitter.com/EspinosaJoey Joey Espinosa

    Great reminders, especially as I am in season of mistreatment by some authorities over me. My wife and I were talking about it just last night, as we need to (but struggle with) pray for those over us.

    But it comes down to a worship issue. If we really worshiped God and trusted in Him above all else, we would be free to love and pray for others.

    I’ve heard this truth taught before with the phrase “Expect God’s Reward.” That is where my hope should be.

  • Mary Elizabeth Tyler

    Great reminder is right. Matt 5:44 is also good, bless them that curse you, this is really, really helpful. I pray for the person who hates me and ask God to give them good things in their lives, to give them good health and to prosper them. Then I think about, what if this person became a Christian? I would then have treated a brother or sister poorly, and that hurts even more (not that it doesn’t if they are not a Christian—but you know).

    I also pray that God put this verse (Matt 5:44) immediately before my eyes, in the exact moment I am being treated poorly, because admittedly it can be hard. And it is good to know that all things come from the hand of the Lord, and are “for our benefit”.

    Thanks Professor Nate, we all need this reminder.

  • Mrs. Erven

    Wow, this is timely for me. (It’s like God planned it all along.)

    Plus, this makes me want to read more dead guys. :)

    • Mary Elizabeth Tyler

      Hi Mrs. Erven:

      I know what you mean about reading the dead guys. Instead of the Dead Poets Society, I call it the Dead Theologians Society. :)

      I had a sister the other day tell me she reads the dead guys, only, so I gave her this web address http://www.biblebb.com/ it has various (as we say dead guys) to choose from.
      Then she blessed me as a thank you with a sermon by Alistair Beggs.
      .

  • Tim

    … even when others mistreat us, it is no excuse for growing anxious, angry, or discontent.

    Is there a difference between growing anxious, etc., and becoming anxious, etc.? Or perhaps I should pose it as growing in anxiety versus finding oneself to be anxious. The Bible encourages us to cast our cares on the Lord, be anxious for nothing and be content in whatever circumstances we find ourselves in, and I understand the theology behind those passages to be that God is sovereign and cares for his people. Yet also, in the same place where Jesus himself tells us not to worry about tomorrow because God will take care of us he also points out that each day has trouble of its own. He knows well what we face, and that it’s not always easy.

    So these passages don’t seem to say that finding oneself to be anxious, etc., is a sin. Rather, the Bible teaches what to do once we realize we are anxious, etc. Like most people, I’ve been in some rough patches in life and they have felt overwhelming at times. Just telling me “Buck up, Buttercup, and trust God!” was not going to cut it; it’s not that I think your article encourages such triteness (and happily, none of my friends were so trite either), but I do think there is a distiction to be drawn between feeling anxious and holding on to (or perhaps even nurturing) anxiety.

    This doesn’t seem to be coming out as clearly as I would have liked, but I hope you get what I’m asking about the distinctions. Any insights you can give would be very helpful. This has been quite a thought provoking post, Nate.

    Cheers,
    Tim

  • Maenzajj

    Great timing for this reminder!

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  • Mark Applegate

    Very nice!