January 30, 2012

The 100th Monkey & Exegetical Fallacies

by Clint Archer

The following phenomenon has been reported as scientific discovery. But though I was born at night, it wasn’t last night, so I’m demoting this meme to “legend has it.”

Legend has it that Japanese scientists were studying the macaque monkey in some obscure Pacific Island. Picture the Dharma Initiative while hiding from the Others. They noticed that a young, probably OCD macaque began to scrub the dirt off his sweet potatoes before scoffing them down. Soon the other youngsters pulled a monkey-see-monkey-do act, literally.

The new fad took a while to catch on, but soon all the youthful primates were hooked on clean veggies. Even some of the old guard ventured to try this new-fangled trend. Eventually the whole troop had taken to washing their food. It would only be a matter of time before the other families on the island heard about the Joneses antics and the fashion would spread.

But then something happened which was far more remarkable than could be predicted by Japanese science, or even scripted on LOST.

When a critical number of monkeys acquired the new skill, the so-called 100th Monkey, the trend spontaneously, inexplicably, and downright freakishly, went viral and hopped to the other islands.

All the macaques on all the neighboring islands began to wash their food. Now, to be clear, none of these monkeys had internet or cellphones, no one was posting a “How To” infographic in the local Primate Times. There was no visual contact whatsoever. This event was an almost paranormal, instinctual version of a wiki website.

Or so the story goes.

Malcome Gladwell is the guy we owe credit to for re-popularizing the concept behind the monkey vignette most recently. The claim Gladwell makes in his pop-economics book, The Tipping Point, is that information these days requires a certain level of credibility for it to be scooped up by the hoi poloi. “Ideas and messages…spread like viruses do.”

I submit that the same can be said for the urban-legend type exegetical fallacies found in many pulpits. Biblical studies has its own menacing threat of exporting fallacious fun facts from island to island.

One case-in-point:

I’m pretty sure you’ve heard the popular explanation of Matt 19:24 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” 

Legend has it that since the Needle Gate into Jerusalem was so narrow, if someone wanted to enter through that gate with their camel, the enormous hydrated beast would need to get down on its knees and crawl through the gate. Thus Jesus’ lesson becomes: it’s a tough nut to crack, this getting into the kingdom with your corpulent bank balance, but it is possible with some determination and a submissive dromedary.

In reality, the lesson was that getting into heaven is impossible. You know, like getting a beast of burden through a 4mm hole. And yes, I know their needles had pretty big eyes, but still.

Relying on your financial self-sufficiency or any other measure of success is totally inadequate to contribute to your salvation. Impossible. As in, not doable. As in, it takes a miracle to make it happen. But here’s some good news– our God just happens to be pretty good at the impossible.

That’s the lesson. How do I know for sure?

1) Camel drivers aren’t obtuse. If the Needle Gate even existed (just because the 100th pastor said it doesn’t make it true), it should be noted that there were several ginormous gates into Jerusalem, located a few hundred yards away from each other. No camel driver would ever choose wrestling his vehicle through a junior petite gate, when there was an XXL gate in spitting distance.

2) Jesus supplies the interpretation of his word picture for us:  vs. 26 But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

 

3) Camels don’t scootch. No camel can crawl on its knees. When an Egyptian guide explained that to me with a condescending eye-roll, I wondered aloud if some greenbacks would encourage him to at least try. Suddenly he loved the idea. Calling his buddies to watch, and prepping the photographer, it became clear a tourist this silly was rare even at the Pyramids.

I can now say from experience that camels don’t scootch on their knees. And trying to make one do your bidding takes a special kind of folly.

An excellent resource that lists and explains other instances of the 100th Monkey Effect in pulpits, is Exegetical Fallacies by D. A. Carson. My personal theory of why pastors are so prone to contributing to these memes is because they blog so much.  Agree or disagree with me at  Why So Many Pastors Blog.

So, be grateful for pastors who spend more time researching from solid sources than they do plundering  Wikipedia.

In your experience, what are some other urban legends that find their way into the pulpit?

 

Clint Archer

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Clint is the pastor of Hillcrest Baptist Church. He and his expanding troop of Archers live near Durban, South Africa (and pity anyone who doesn't). When he is off duty from CGate, his alter ego blogs at Café Seminoid, clintarcher.com
  • B Diener

    Yet another reason to STUDY for sermons and not reheat someone else’s message. Carson’s “Exegetical Fallacies” is an excellent book that should be read and reread. Thanks for the post Clint.

    • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

      My pleasure! Dr Barrick at TMS said that every sem student’s first book should be Carson’s.

  • Daniel J. Phillips

    The idea that Jesus actually sweat blood in the Garden.

    • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

      That’s a good one. Yup, I’ve heard that nugget too. They don’t read the word “like” and then launch into medical explanations of blood sweating. Thanks.

  • Anonymous

    Love it! Thanks for this post! I’m gonna go blog about it! :)

    • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

      Make sure 99 others do too, so it’ll catch on!

  • Kim K.

    Not an exigetical fallacy exactly – but my Sunday School teacher once told about how the Boxer Rebellion in China was actually started because someone overheard a group of 4 journalists shooting the breeze in a bar, wondering how to sell more newspapers and joking about tearing down the Great Wall. I’m not a history expert but that was certainly a story I had never heard. I asked him if he could cite his source and he sent me a few pages from a Chuck Missler book. Turns out the whole story is an urban legend. The irony – he was teaching from James 3:1ff!

    • http://thecripplegate.com Jesse Johnson

      Chuck Missler is sort of infamous for those sorts of things. Remember Y2K?

      • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

        I still have bottled water supplies and canned food stashed in a basement somewhere, thanks to Missler.

    • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

      Yeah, I’m sure the political intricacies that occupy analysts are just over complicating things. It was definitely the four drunk guys in the bar who started the revolution.

  • BibleGeek

    Just yesterday the pastor told us that we use grape juice instead of wine at Communion because grape juice is 100% pure, like the blood of Christ, but wine is corrupt after going through the fermentation process. One of many reasons I no longer attend that church on a regular basis.

    • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

      No way!! I have never heard that one. Let’s hope that no other monkeys get hold of that one. If it spreads people may actually die laughing!

  • Creighton Ring

    Clint, thanks for the hilarious intro. As for the Exegetical Fallacies, years ago a pastor friend of mine once described a guy on the radio (and in the pulpit) as a “newspaper eschatologist”. While I know the term did not originate with him, it was the first time I had heard the description. For me, it began to highlight the very phenomenon that you bring to light in your post. The study of eschatology seems to be rife with examples of fast traveling, shock-value hermeneutics. Be it putting a face on the antichrist, trying to predict the end of days, or advocacy in teaching your children how to live off of the land in the back-woods of nowhere during the tribulation, one does not need to look far to find myriad examples of poor end-times teaching rippling through the scripturally naive. The magazine subscriptions, teaching materials and websites frequently boast weird and frightening graphics and articles with paranoid themes. Where scripture is used, various texts of Daniel, Matthew and Revelation are wrested from plain context. By the time it makes its way to the pulpit, it seems to either result in silence or vague generalities for fear of frightening everyone or some really poor advice driven by a need to survive, rather than faithfully proclaim the gospel.

    • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

      Yup, exactly. Newspaper hermeneutics is a great example of how one person’s interpretation can become the common view among people who are equally unskilled in their interpretation. It’s the “Sounds good to me” test.

  • http://thecripplegate.com Jesse Johnson

    In the same vein as the blood one: that he Holy Spirit came in the shape of a dove, vs. descending like a dove.

    • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

      Good one. He came down like a dove would land, as in not like a ninja.

  • Jim J

    I first heard the needle gate theory sometime in the ’80′s. Quite obviously, given the context with Jesus’ explanation, it’s a pretty silly story. However, it did manage to live, and perhaps even multiply, before blogging or even Wikipedia had been dreamed of. Thanks! It is good to be reminded that the Bible is always its own best interpreter.

    • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

      Amen Jim.

  • Graham and Nicola

    Was Gehenna a rubbish pit outside Jerusalem. Witherington III mentions that it might still have been in Jesus’ day in his commentary on “Mark”; but others have been calling this an “evangelical urban myth”.
    The truth is out there….

    G&N

    • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

      I think this one may be more truth than fiction, but I’ll look into it.

      • Andrew Callaway

        Todd Bolen has a blog post entitled- The Myth of the Burning Garbage Dump of Gehenna

        Find it here- http://blog.bibleplaces.com/2011/04/myth-of-burning-garbage-dump-of-gehenna.html

        • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

          Tx for the link.

      • Graham and Nicola

        Thanks Andrew and Clint. It was the Bolen blog that we were referring to; and his explanation does seem plausible. Hell as the ultimate banishment, and as irredeemably evil. That’s a chilling picture.
        It actually makes Dante seem tame and understated.
        Still, if there is something to the rubbish pit, it would be helpful to know.

        N&G

  • Graham and Nicola

    Did Mulder and Scully ever find the truth BTW? We got bored somewhere through the third series….

    • Anonymous

      You missed the best season.

  • David Harris

    Rope tied around the High Priest’s leg in case he died in the Holy of Holies.

    • Andrew Callaway

      Dr. Varner addresses this belief.

      http://dribex.tumblr.com/post/832226295/that-rope-around-the-high-priests-ankle

      It’s kind of strange that we know that everything in the temple is pure and holy and special and ornate yet we thought, “yeah, they probably did use some old rope in case he died.”

      • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

        Praise God for Dr Varner. I’ll check this out. Thanks for the link.

    • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

      Ok, confession time… I thought that one was real. This is like that epiphany moment in the Sixth Sense.

  • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

    I just thought of another: Elijah went up into heaven in a… whirlwind. No mention that he actually got in the chariot of fire.

  • http://thecripplegate.com Jesse Johnson

    Douglas Wilson points out that even the camel crawling is funny in its own right. Its as if Jesus painted a picture of camels praying that they would enter the kingdom of God. But, he says, the humor is usually lost on those who commit that exegetical fallacy.

    • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

      I think we lose a lot of camel humor in our close exegesis. Ever try swallowing one of those guys after straining out a gnat?

  • http://scripturethoughts.wordpress.com/ Lynda O

    Even worse than some of these stories supposedly related to the Bible: a preacher who got his history lessons from the urban-legend emails, especially the one about “Life in the 1500s” — and didn’t even bother to check if it was true or not.

    After he used those several times as sermon illustrations — such as how in England they ran out of places to bury their dead, reused coffins, and buried people alive in them, etc. — I finally sent him an email link that pointed out the truth about that urban legend.

    • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

      Gotta love truthorfiction.com

  • http://reformedbygracebaptist.org/ Howard Brown

    I heard a preacher assuring his audience that hell really did, after all, exist. And it has been proven. Not by the Bible, but by the oilfield drilling industry. There was a drilling rig in Siberia (all the best, high tech drilling happens in places like Siberia) where the earth’s crust is the thinnest. They drilled a realllllllly deep well, and when they stopped drilling, they could hear the screams of men being tortured. No, really.
    Evidently the eye witness was unaware that there are no holes that deep, to punch through the crust, that any hole is filled with drill solid laden drilling mud with uncommonly poor acoustic properties, and …the physical location of hell…?it really is down there…? and yet there are primates lacking prehensile tails bearing this tale. I have heard it from two pulpits now, and additionally, from two pastors who knew I was in the drilling industry and wanted to confirm the story. One afterward concluded that I had probably never drilled in Russia.

    • http://www.clintarcher.com/ Clint

      I LOVE this one. I’ve heard it too, but thankfully from a pastor who was mocking it. Some legends are just dart-boards for satire. Thanks for reminding me. I needed the chuckle.

  • James S

    Wow, that’s a great monkey story. There just arent enough good monkey stories these days.

    Carson’s ‘Exegetical Fallacies’ was my first Carson book and it’s good to see that it is still highly sought after. It was an eye opening book. I think I’ll read it again now that you reminded me.