October 1, 2012

Avoiding the Pre-Church Tornado of Chaos

by Clint Archer

Beep, beep, beep- snooze- beep, beep, beep- click. Yawn. And then it begins. The Sunday pre-church tornado of chaos…

tornado warnign signWake kids, dress kids, feed kids, clean up kids’ mess on floor, clean up kids mess on kids, dress kids again, shower, choose tie, convince wife that tie does match outfit, dress self, feed self, clean mess on tie, load car, screech out driveway only 3 minutes late this week, return for kids’ juice cups, screech out driveway again, 7 mins late this week. Still better than last week. Discuss tie choice on the drive. Struggle to be patient with clamor from kids, taxi drivers, broken traffic light, no parking in church lot; ignore dirty look from usher who saw you park in the handicapped spot, humbly accept that your pew is taken, remember that you forgot the overdue church library book, the sound is too soft so you move forward where it’s too loud. You missed the opening song (your favorite), but you were just in time for your three least favorite hymns.

Then the sermon starts.

After you wrangle your thoughts away from whether or not you turned off the iron, the stove, and the curling iron, and after you stop imagining your house burning down, you start drifting into a light doze as the movie you watched til midnight last night plays in your brain. After a few elbow jabs from your spouse, you catch the last point of the sermon about how you should pray more. The sermon ends you greet the pastor who says, “Good to see you again, it’s been a while, have you been away?” You resist pointing out that you haven’t missed a service in three weeks, because deep down you know that although you were there in body, you really did miss the service every week since you had kids.

Take heart. You are not alone. This is the frenetic milieu of every suburban churchgoer. I’m not sure what the solution is, or if there is one at all. But there are some practical preparations you can do to ameliorate the experience somewhat.

What makes tornadoes so devastating is if you are unprepared for them. If you get some warning, you can batten down the hatches, get under ground, and ride out the storm. If you are caught off-guard, you get swept up in the clutches of the chaos. It’s the same for Sundays. You know what’s coming, so get your house in order before it hits.

Last week we looked at some spiritual preparations suggested by Ken Ramey in his excellent book, Expository Listening. Here are four practical steps you can take:

1. Make it a habit to be home on Saturday night.

What you watch, who you hang out with, and how late you return after a night out on Saturday, can noticeably hinder your ability to focus on worshipping the Lord on Sunday. My pastor, Rick Holland, regularly reminded the thousand college students he shepherded, “Sunday morning starts Saturday night!”

tornado2. Get things ready on Saturday night

Lay out the kids’ clothes, set the breakfast table, decide what you will wear, write the offering check, load the stroller in the car, pack the diaper bag. These little chores amass like hordes of little time-eating gremlins, to gnaw at your efficiency. Sunday is war, and every minute counts. Use Saturday as an accomplice to ensure success on Sunday.

3. Sleep well and Eat well.

If you got o bed at  reasonable time instead of watching Seinfeld reruns until midnight; and if eat a hearty breakfast instead swallowing a pop-tart whole on the way out the door, then your body will work with your mind (or at least not be a saboteur) as you listen to the sermon.

I have seen people fall asleep while I was preaching. I usually start to pound the pulpit and preach louder– not because I’m admitting I was lagging in zeal before, but because I’m attempting to rouse the comatose.

4. Work hard at helping one another get ready.

The family is a team. Any problem that comes up (spilt milk on the floor, or dress) is a temptation to get frustrated and angry at a particular family member. This causes tension and tears and makes for a tense drive and unproductive worship time. Rather view everything “bad” that happens on Sunday as Satan’s devices to trip you up. Your holiness is more important than your punctuality. If you get to church late, but in the right frame of mind to worship and learn, you will have won the battle. If you get there on time but sinning in your heart, angry at your wife, with a teary toddler… your Sunday service has been forfeited.

If you have any other suggestions, I’m sure the readers would appreciate hearing from you in the comments section below.

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Clint Archer

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Clint is the pastor of Hillcrest Baptist Church. He and his expanding troop of Archers live near Durban, South Africa (and pity anyone who doesn't). When he is off duty from CGate, his alter ego blogs at Café Seminoid, clintarcher.com
  • Larry

    @Clint..excellent, practical tips to make the Sunday “get to church” initiative closer to being seamless. Prepping on Saturday night may be the biggest piece of advice, for all and not just for families. Can you imagine what it could be like if each family or singular household held devotions prior to bed on Saturday night? (Men ought to always pray and not faint).

    • pastorarcher

      good point, Larry. Make me think of Christ’s question to his sleepy apostles: “Could you not even pray for one hour?”

  • http://twitter.com/davidjdunbar David (Dave) Dunbar

    Great article. I suspect that most people don’t think about this sort of thing. This should be used as a bulletin insert and shared!

    It reminds me of an Alistair Begg quote:
    “Do you think that you can spend all of Saturday
    on yourself and idle pursuits, go to bed late with your head full of nonsense,
    waken up slovenly, drag yourself finally into this building, and discover that
    as a result of somebody reading two verses from the book of Psalms, hey presto
    you just became a Spirit-filled worshipper?
    If you think that, you need to think again. Preparation is absolutely crucial in the
    process, and the way we spend our waking moments on the Lord’s Day sets the
    stall for the day.” (Alistair Begg, in a
    sermon called Concerning Worship)

    • pastorarcher

      Great quote, and please remember to read it in his Scottish accent.

  • http://www.facebook.com/charlie.frederico Charlie Frederico

    These are good pracitical things to do for Sunday morning. If I may add a few things that we do. My wife and I have 9 children ranging from 17 years to 1 year old. For us, our entire week focuses on getting ready for Sunday. The days following Sunday are filled with discussion about teaching we learned on Sunday, and so on. Usually, my wife and I are up first and getting ready (as we set the example for the rest of the house). The oldest children are up first (the oldest children help with the youngest children with feeding and dressing, where necessary). My oldest son usually is in charge of cooking breakfast for Sunday. Before Sunday, we make efforts to have church clothes washed and in the “church closet” so the younger children can find them there easily. We work hard to make sure that Sunday mornings are quiet and manageable. When everything is done, and if there is down-time, my oldest son will read “The Proverbs of the Day” until time to go. It all begins with Mom and Dad being convinced that they are preparing to meet God and that calls for us to treat preparation time with all seriousness. Our children see that and, in time, share that same perspective.

    • pastorarcher

      Excellent advice, thanks for sharing. Anyone who can get that sized family to church at all is a hero of mine!

      • Heather

        Yeah, that really is excellent advice. I have no kids, so reading your article kinda depressed me lol But what Charlie said is so encouraging to know that even the largest families can do Sunday mornings well. What a sweet “little” family that loves the Lord! Made me smile :)

  • Bobbi Brown

    I grew up in a family of 5 kids. My parents were very laid back so never worried about being late for church. We believed that “They will know we are Christian by our love,” so figured we were still loved even if we were late. All 5 of us enjoyed church because we knew that we were loved. My husband and I had 2 children so didn’t have so much to do to get ready for church. I usually baked muffins on Sunday morning so everyone could wake up to yummy aromas.

  • Suzanne

    Might I also add that it’s incredibly important to prepare your heart for those Sundays when we have communion together.

  • Chap

    Thanks for the article! Good stuff!

    Pastors need to disciple their families to think about this vital area. For 20 years, our family has sought to make corporate worship a joyful family event. Lessons we learned can be found in “Delighting in the Lord Together.” This small minibook is free to download here.

    Grace as you continue your discipleship!

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